The Starbucks Test

One of Rafe's friends had told him about the Starbucks test. The test people who meet in real life (after meeting online) should undergo for their first encounter.

It's easy for people to get caught up in the moment of cyber fun and excitement. People develop feelings and emotions for the person "behind the avatar" and often there is wistful discussions of meeting in real life for real. Those of us who are active in virtual worlds have probably heard or know a person who attempted to meet a virtual friend and got stood up, or scammed.

The starbucks test is the first step in determining if someone is really interested in moving forward. Are they willing to say they will meet you for a coffee and just chat. No hugs, no kisses, no promises, no attachments... just a coffee.

When Rafe asked me if I would meet with him in real life... and would I meet with him at a Starbucks, I told him I absolutely would. In the end... we didn't make it to a Starbucks until our 3rd or 4th day together. We kind of skipped that test. But we did take a moment to have a little sit down at Starbucks in SL. So, what "tests" do you have for meeting someone new?

What if you get bored?

So, I’m skipping all the details, but the short story is I’m leaving my husband and I’m going to move in with my partner that I met in Second Life. Only 10,000 miles separate us at the moment, but soon we’ll be together again.

My mother asked me the other day, what if you get bored again. Since one of my major issues with my soon to be ex was being completely and totally bored, sexually, mentally, etc.

I looked at her for a moment and said, what if I do? Why does society dictate that a choice made can never be unmade? What if I do get bored. Rafe and I have a great understanding and we both share a need for adventure and change. He makes major changes and so do I.

If I get bored, I’m going to say I am bored and together we’ll find new excitement… or we’ll change again.

I have never understood why our society seems so rigid in making relationship changes a negative experience. If you are bored, if you feel unappreciated, if you aren’t stimulated… you have every right to seek fulfillment. We only get one life and at any time, it could end. Why not seek and find happiness?

Just because you made a choice a dozen years or so ago to share your life with one person… that doesn’t mean you can never make a new choice. Every day we have the opportunity to make choices.

My mother was surprised by my answer, but after a moment she agreed with me, understanding my point of view… .

So, what will you do if you get bored in your life?